Прикольные фразы из компутерной жизни

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KDS (2002-11-15 11:30) [0]

Доброе утро, мастера потрепаться!
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Three devices under Win... (три девицы под окном)
Device not ready = девица не готова!
Печатаю со скоростью 1200 знаков в минуту. Такой бред получается...
Starting WinDOS/2"98 NT (BSD Edition) [----------..........] 50%
Can"t write: disk fool. (R)etry, (F)ormat, (C)all #911 ?...
Господи, только бы она не глюUnhandled error at 138C:002A
Дейcтвия пpофеccионалов пpедcказyемы. Hо миp полон любителей...
Ламеp - это вскипевший чайник
Hовая технология от MicroSoft: "Plug and Drop"
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Кто знает еще - дописывайте. Посмеемся или поплачем :)

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Кот Бегемот (2002-11-15 11:37) [1]

Деточка сколько тебе лет что тя такое еще смешит ???

http://www.uic.nnov.ru/~nik/humor/computer/afor.shtml

Почитай и успокойся :)

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Aristarh (2002-11-15 11:37) [2]

>KDS ©

Здаров!

Правильно сделал, что вчера отказался. Я чуть не умер сегодня, башка трещит. Невозможно работать.

Мне больше нравится: Дейcтвия пpофеccионалов пpедcказyемы. Hо миp полон любителей...

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KDS (2002-11-15 11:40) [3]

Привет, Саня!
Та с тобой уже и пить страшно. Тормозов у нас обоих нет :)
Я смотрю ты активно работаешь ;)

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Дмитрий К.К. (2002-11-15 11:41) [4]

Помнится, работал я в одном банке.
Зовет меня однажды женщина-кассирша - комп перезагрузился.
Я спрашиваю: "Шо произошло?"
Она: "Выскочило сообщение, и я сделала Аборт"

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KDS (2002-11-15 11:44) [5]

То то у нас рождаемость падает с компьютеризацией

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Aristarh (2002-11-15 11:46) [6]

>KDS ©

Думал сегодня на Арию пойти, но что-то ничего не хочется. Лишь бы попустило. Но ничё, уже легче.

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NeyroSpace (2002-11-15 11:57) [7]

Plug & Pray (подключай и молись)
Заело - надави, сломалось - не беда все равно менять надо было.

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AL2002 (2002-11-15 12:05) [8]

Мне понравилось про ламера-чайника. ;)

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pasha676 (2002-11-15 12:34) [9]

Keyboard not present. Press F1 to continue

Давно как то биос матерный примерно такой перл на гора выдал. Моя плакалЪ.

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AL2002 (2002-11-15 12:42) [10]

> pasha676 (15.11.02 12:34)
> Keyboard not present. Press F1 to continue
>
> Давно как то биос матерный примерно такой перл на гора выдал.
> Моя плакалЪ.

Press F1 to enter setup.

У меня дома троечка (386) есть. Малой на ней юзает. Вот там я видел такое сообщение. ;)

Кстати, там вин95 стоит. :))
33MHz / 4MbRAM / 180Mb Hdd / 256Kb VRAM.

И сидюк даже есть. ;)

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Игорь Шевченко (2002-11-15 13:19) [11]

If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,
And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort,
And the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,
Then the socket packet pocket has an error to report!
If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,
And the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,
And your data is corrupted "cause the index doesn"t hash,
Then your situation"s hopeless, and your system"s gonna crash!
If the label on the cable on the table at your house,
Says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,
But your packets want to tunnel on another protocol,
That"s repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall,
And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss
So your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse,
Then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,
"Cause as sure as I"m a poet, the sucker"s gonna hang!
When the copy of your floppy"s getting sloppy on the disk,
And the microcode instructions cause unnecessary risc,
Then you have to flash your memory and you"ll want to RAM your ROM.
Quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your mom!

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AL2002 (2002-11-15 13:27) [12]

Классно. Добавлю к своим анекдотам. ;)

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LongIsland (2002-11-15 13:32) [13]

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Виктор Щербаков (2002-11-15 13:48) [14]

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Ru (2002-11-15 14:00) [15]

Разговаривают два друга по телейону:
- Как ты себя чувствуешь после вчерашнего?
- Как мышка.
- А как это?
- По коврику ползаю и в животе крутит.

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Игорь Шевченко (2002-11-15 14:49) [16]

И еще:

Eleanor Rigby
Sits at the keyboard
And waits for a line on the screen
Lives in a dream
Waits for a signal
Finding some code
That will make the machine do some more.
What is it for?

All the lonely users, where do they all come from?
All the lonely users, why does it take so long?

Ah, look at all the lonely users...
Ah, look at all the lonely users...

Our system admins
tear out their hair
and they swear and some really do care
but cannot help us
look at us working
spending our lives with hard drives
"til our eyes start to go
what does it show?

All the lonely users, where do they all come from?
All the lonely users, why does it take so long?

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Игорь Шевченко (2002-11-15 14:50) [17]

И для поклонников Эдгара По:
Once upon a midnight dreary, fingers cramped and vision bleary,
System manuals piled high and wasted paper on the floor,
Longing for the warmth of bedsheets,
Still I sat there, doing spreadsheets:
Having reached the bottom line,
I took a floppy from the drawer.
Typing with a steady hand, I then invoked the SAVE command
But got instead a reprimand: it read "Abort, Retry, Ignore".

Was this some occult illusion? Some maniacal intrusion?
These were choices Solomon himself had never faced before.
Carefully, I weighed my options.
These three seemed to be the top ones.
Clearly, I must now adopt one -
Choose: "Abort, Retry, Ignore".

With my fingers pale and trembling,
Slowly toward the keyboard bending,
Longing for a happy ending, hoping all would be restored,
Praying for some guarantee
Finally I pressed a key --
But on the screen what did I see?
Again: "Abort, Retry, Ignore".

I tried to catch the chips off guard --
I pressed again, but twice as hard.
Luck was just not in the cards,
I saw what I had seen before.
Now I typed in desperation,
Trying random combinations.
Still there came the incantation -
Choose: "Abort, Retry, Ignore".

There I sat, distraught, exhausted, by my own machine accosted;
Getting up, I turned away and paced across the office floor.
And then I saw an awful sight,
A bold and blinding flash of light,
A lightning bolt that cut the night and shook me to my very core.
The PC screen collapsed and died,
"Oh no -- my database", I cried.
I thought I heard a voice reply,
"You"ll see your data-- Nevermore!"

To this day I do not know
The place to which our data goes
Perhaps it goes to Heaven where the angels have it stored.
But as for productivity - well,
I fear it has gone straight to Hell.
And that"s the tale I have to tell -
Your choice: "Abort, Retry, Ignore".

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